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Thursday, July 21, 2005


C# News

The graph below shows the number of times programmers of different languages got dates or were turned down while asking for a date.

C# programmers enjoy a more sexually-active life. Experts can only agree.

After an interview with Jack (fake name), an application optimizer (he uses ASM), we found out the real truth behind the lives of programmers who made bad choices.

"I was under a lot of stress at home. I kept having fights with my wife, Tabitha (fake name). I knew it was because of it [the programming language I used]. I had to change, but I wasn't very sure which one. I went for VB. That, I think, was the worse decision of all my life."

Like Jack, many programmers suffered the choices of their language. Ben (fake name), a C++ programmer earning US$4000 per month, was caught by his wife using Java at home. "She couldn't believe it. She sent me the divorce papers one week later," confides Ben, still trying to recover from his loss.

Some, however, seem to have understood what a programmer's life was all about. Sonya (fake name), a 24 year old hottie, agreed to share information on her programming past with us.

"Before, I couldn't even get laid. Guys wouldn't even look at me. I was a Java programmer." Her sad expression reflects her unhappy past. "Fortunately, a friend of mine introduced me to C#. I easily got the hang of it, and found the language very comfortable to use." We had doubts about Sonya's claims on her inactive sexual life, when she explained to us: "I couldn't believe it. After two months of using C#, my breasts started to grow larger, and my butt and thighs more firm. It was incredible!". Sonya now enjoys a peaceful life with Brandon (fake name), also a C# programmer. They're expecting a baby this November. "If it's a boy, we're gonna call him Whidbey," the happy couple told us.